LOL
9gag:

Oh you little doggie!
world-shaker:

Inspired by adiemtocarpe’s post here.
I’ve also got it available for download as a PDF here.
source photo and quote

world-shaker:

Inspired by adiemtocarpe’s post here.

I’ve also got it available for download as a PDF here.

source photo and quote

ageoffoolishness:

http://ny.curbed.com/
aimee-b-loved:

shushbetou:

rachelarogers:

pleatedjeans:

basic sign language

This is full of win.

oh shit. i’ll never be able to sign my name ever again without falling over from the laughter. 

BRB! Learning important stuff!

aimee-b-loved:

shushbetou:

rachelarogers:

pleatedjeans:

basic sign language

This is full of win.

oh shit. i’ll never be able to sign my name ever again without falling over from the laughter. 

BRB! Learning important stuff!

erkerk:

Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day  rise from the dead, then fall, rise again, fall, and rise again.

erkerk:

Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, then fall, rise again, fall, and rise again.

9gag:

You should play the role of my fathers
weirdscaryandusualstuff:

The spoon: A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.     Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ‘Steve’s Place,’ and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.     It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.       Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, ‘Why the spoon?’     ‘Well, ‘he explained, ‘the restaurant’s owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently    dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.   If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.’     As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. ‘I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now…’ I was impressed.       I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.       Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, ‘Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?’       ‘Oh, certainly!’ Then he lowered his voice. ‘Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.     By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.’     I asked quietly, ‘After you get it out, how do you put it back?’   ‘Well,’ he whispered, ‘I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon .’  

weirdscaryandusualstuff:

The spoon:
A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.  


  Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ‘Steve’s Place,’ and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.  


  It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.  

 
  Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, ‘Why the spoon?’  

 
‘Well, ‘he explained, ‘the restaurant’s owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently    dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.  


If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.’  
 
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. ‘I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now…’ I was impressed.  

 
  I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.  

 
  Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, ‘Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?’  

 
  ‘Oh, certainly!’ Then he lowered his voice. ‘Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

 
  By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.’

 
  I asked quietly, ‘After you get it out, how do you put it back?’

 
‘Well,’ he whispered, ‘I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon .’